Episode 1…Tori
My name is Tori. This blog is my journal. The story of me.
For my first post, I’ll tell you, my readers, about myself. What I know, anyway. I can’t tell you about myself, as I don’t know much on that topic. However, I can tell you where I’ve been and why I am what I am.
My life started as everyone else’s does, when a Mommy and a Daddy and blablabla. It’s pretty average, maybe even above that. I still have both of my parents, a younger brother, all three of the grandparents I started with… the only major loss I’ve had is my great grandmother, who I refused to see after she was moved to a nursing home, anyway. I didn’t cry. I did cry for the horses, though, And myself. those are two different kidns of losses, though, and might be discussed later.
I’m a freshman in high school, your typical living-in-a-small-town-and-wants-to-get-out kidna girl. Except I don’t want to move to the big city, I’d rather go someplace even smaller. Not quieter, just cozier. I’m awkward and geeky, but not totally ugly. Insecure and unconfident, but brave when necessary. I don’t brag or boast about my modest eprsonality, though I do state the facts I’ve heard time and time again from others if I feel the need to. My self-esteem is mediocre. I used to care about every little thing that happened, I had an issue with every little thing someone said or did, and used to pray that they’d stop. I’ve learned, though, that praying and wishing and hoping just doesn’t work all the time. The only surefire way to any success is is the direct approach. Being someone who doesn’t totally trust the world aside from the select few of her select few, I resorted to not caring. Period.
Have you ever noticed, almost every book or movie is NOT about typical, average people? The mothers are dead or the fathers left them of the friends all hate them or they’re too popular for their own good. I am not one of these people. I am me, Tori, a girl who wishes she could be one of those people so that she’d have a reason to be so sad all the time. As with most people, I wear a facade all the time. Bubbly, sweet, caring and intelligent by school, though I magically become rude, selfish, dumb and anti-social each time I reach home, and I’m not quoting myself. That is jsut what I’ve been told, so that is all that I know. I sometimes wonder if my friends wonder why I don’t join them after school or on the weekends. Do they know there’s more than “a doctor’s appointment” or why “I simply don’t feel like it”? Do they even care? I secretly hope they do, but I bet they don’t.
I suppose that if I could pretend I were an ominescent friend, I could step outside myself and evaluate when I am. Or, at least, what I think I seem like. I could divide myself into 3 parts, understanding any subdivisions are subject to change. I am made of the schooltime Victoria, the hometime Tori, and the internet sensation, Ria. These are not my real names, mind you, as are none of the names and proper nouns that can be found throughout this story. I simply recently decided that another name change that can still support my previous two “Ria”s was in order, and Victoria was a prime contestant. My friend Ari suggested Tori, which lead to this.
That is all I can think of about me. Follow me as I learn more, myself.
